A message to AD Chris Arthur-Henly Robinson: Great job!

keskarel navapeac <keskarel@gmail.com>

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producer's notes

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keskarel navapeac <keskarel@gmail.com>	Thu, Nov 17, 2011 at 7:02 AM
To: Christopher Robinson Cc: Michael Lewis
first scene: enough already with my wife would kill me nix the flirtation second scene and following between K & V: the purse snatching scene is about a purse snatching and the characters' reactions - the scene is 4 1/2 pages, and only 1 1/2 deals with the mugging. needs adjustment V is shooting, not filming - no use of the word film in this film the dialogue between pages 11-16 'shoot/don't shoot' is repetitive. it needs to progress or it will be static nix helpless in front of men; V is not feminine enough to be that catty nix This place used to stand for something there wasn’t any soy cheese pizza nonsense. first therapy scene: A W E S O M E after the scream, add cutaway to people on the sidewalk looking up towards a window in reaction to the scream V & K scenes following the scream: V is not living on the edge financially. she does not need money from K - she needs electricity. she is not an artist. videographers can easily make enough to live comfortably. she owns at least 5 cameras, most likely, and a million batteries, she has a bad habit of forgetting to recharge, so when she runs out of electricity just as she needs to upload from the camera, she's screwed. needs adjustment THE VIDEOGRAPHER is reading a book: probably not - she stays up all night editing K & Nidal (pages 29-32) A W E S O M E V & K ( pages 32-42) awesome up to here See that’s the problem with most women they think the worst thing in the world is being alone. It’s the greatest lie ever perpetuated by men. There is nothing wrong with being alone. i know this story is a feminist for you.but this character is not a feminist, does not give a shit and would not say anything like this - way too movie of  the week in the 70's. if K becomes more feministically minded, it will come from her own character growth. needs adjustment K & Nidal (pages 42-44) A W E S O M E Pages 44-end nix Never mind. I will accept this, but buying presents for me to make everything okay it’s just like a damn man. nix any insinuated incest - way too 1990's movie of the week. V's uncle was a mean person who had rage issues, period. nix Pink shirts are for helpless women that are the mercy of domineering men. rework  (Whispering, but in an assertive voice.) You never tell anyone what you are about to say to me. You hear, not me, not your priest, not your lawyer, no one. Don’t ever talk about it again. No one knows what you did and we are going to keep it that way. more movie of the week. needs adjustment. this does not work with our throughline, plot points or backstory, so i am cutting it. need to rework, following the throughline and the plot points: INT. THE VIDEOGRAPHER’s Apartment – Night. THE VIDEOGRAPHER hears thumping sounds coming from the ceiling, banging, thump, thump, it ruminants like a bass drum, shakes her house and makes her thighs tremble. She takes a deep breath, covers her ears and reaches for her camera. She staggers to the window and films her reflection against the casement. She begins to talk to herself as the thumping noises intensify. Cut to: flash back scene- narrator speaks over. Pan out to a rushing gushing blushing river as it rushes over grey rocks, two woman stand at the shore laughing. Narration comes over the image. EXT. At a Rushing River – Day.                          NARRATOR Remember when you and Ophelia walked down to the Laertes River after your classes together? Do you remember smoking cigarettes and drinking her daddy’s whiskey she stole from his dresser drawer? Ophelia would talk about the boys in your classes. You would laugh and say how they annoyed you. You both really liked your teacher Mr. Horatio. You both admired his, strong back, soft skin and big brown eyes. He talked so nice and articulate; nothing like your uncle. Cut to: scene change, The Narrator speaks over the image. INT. The Two At Their Graduation – Day.                          NARRATOR (CONT’D) Remember when you both graduated from High School? You went to different colleges, her at Dakota State in Madison and you at Black Hills in Spear Fish. But you still found time to drive 200 miles through the ice and the plains of the State you couldn’t wait to leave, every weekend. Cut to: Scene change, The Narrator speaks over the image. INT. Dorm Room – Night.                NARRATOR (CONT’D) One night, you told Ophelia ‘I can’t ever see my aunt and uncle again,’ she told she didn’t like her daddy, she called Claudius either. Cut to: Scene change, The Narrator speaks over the image. INT. A Restaurant – Night.                          NARRATOR (CONT’D) And the two of you went out to Pang’s Place in Siuox city for Christmas together. You ate mash potatoes, minced pies and fruitcake and you kept asking her if she was hungry, but she just shook her head no. Cut to: Scene change, The Narrator still speaks over the image. INT. Dorm Room – Night. NARRATOR (CONT’D) You remember when her skin began to turn yellow? Remember when she clutched at her belly and told you about all the pains in her abdominals. Remember when she whispered, OPHELIA ‘The doctor’s say I have pancreatic cancer. They say I’m gonna die from it.” Cut to: Scene change, The Narrator speaks over the image. INT. Hospital - Day. She got so skinny; you tried to make her eat and she wouldn’t. You even brought her Swiss cheese her favorite kind of food with you every time you visited. Cut To: The present. INT. VIDEOGRAPHER’S APARTMENT – Night. Thumping sounds go on all around her from upstairs, she covers her ears. THE VIDEOGRAPHER (Crying) Stop it I remember. I don’t want to remember anymore. Cut to: Scene changes, The Narrator speaks over the image. INT. Hospital - Night. NARRATOR You sat by her hospital bed, playing cards all night until she forgot your name. Until she forgot how to talk; until she forgot how to smile; until she forgot how to laugh. You had to call the nurses to give you extra Kleenex, when Ophelia would fall asleep. Cut to: Scene change, The Narrator speaks over the image. EXT. Shots of Traffic – Day.     NARRATOR (CONT’D) Do you remember the 39 line the one that got you to the hospital? Do you remember the time you got stuck in traffic? Cut to: Scene change, The Narrator speaks over the image. Cut to: INT. Bus – Day Time.                           NARRATOR (CONT’D) You shuffled your feet, stared at your watch and glowered at the little Chinese boy standing next to you, when he wiped his runny nose on your sleeve. Cut to: Scene change, The Narrator speaks over the image. INT. Hospital - Night. NARRATOR (CONT’D) Do you remember when you walked into the hospital? Cut To: The present. INT. VIDEOGRAPHER’S APARTMENT – Night. Thumping sounds continue to come from upstairs, THE VIDEOGRAPHER covers her ears again. THE VIDEOGRAPHER Stop it I want to forget I want to forget so badly it hurts, leave me alone. Cut to: Scene change, The Narrator speaks over the image. INT. Hospital - Night. NARRATOR  A feeling like something was gone buzzed inside your stomach. You ran up to the forth floor. And when you walked into her room her family was gathered around her. When you came to see Ophelia that last time she did not breath no more. She asked for you, Claudius said when you rushed in. His thick mustache twitched and he smelled like old spice and Whiskey. In a moment of clarity Ophelia had solicited you, but you were on the bus, its wheels turning slowly like a windmill without any wind. Cut to: OPHELIA the same room as before, earlier. She opens her eyes. She looks around the room, her family circling her. She can’t find THE VIDEOGRAPHER so she ask. OPHELIA ‘Where is Adalyn?’ Cut to: Scene change, The Narrator speaks over the image.           INT. Hospital – OPHILLA’S Corpse On The Bed.                                   NARRATOR You looked at her blue face, clutched onto her hands and thought about how alone she must have felt when she died. Cut To: The present. INT. VIDEOGRAPHER’S APARTMENT – Night. Thrashing noises keep coming from upstairs, THE VIDEOGRAPHER stares intently at her self, she puts down her camera and looks at her wrinkles in the window. She looks down at her camera very intently, the camera is older than her others. The narrator narrates as we see THE VIDEOGRAPHER inspect her self and her video-camera. NARRATOR She went out to a part town she had never been before and she wondered into a store she had never been before and she saw it in a glass case like a shining metallic tree in the sun. With it, she thought, I will never miss any single thing again. She then wondered why all her favorite people had to die. THE VIDEOGRAPHER looks up at the ceiling. -- Thanks. The Keskarel the Movie production team